| I hugged Ryan Reynolds.
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| That people love their work, who work a drill
Or run a lathe, sounds alien to some
Who see in them "the robots they've become"
Automatons bent to assembly's will.
And some are that, who welcome programmed steel,
Greet automation heralded as Change -
But others feel an intimate exchange,
The tiniest components but a field
As varied as a single breed of snail,
With textures, contours hidden from all eyes
Save those communing daily half their lives
With parts they know like totems. They have nailed
That one philosophy, have made the grade
Who see in work their lives, and love their trade
-- Elissa Malcohn
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| I officially hate Beaumont. Okay, well not Beaumont, but the "Jefferson airport"...the infamous airport in Jefferson County. No one ever uses the Jefferson airport to fly places. Maybe because you can only fly Continental...and maybe because you can only fly trom Beaumont to Houston...and maybe because it's a super shady looking place, but nonetheless, it exists.
So I was arranging some interviews in San Antonio and rather than driving to San Antonio the night before, or driving to Houston and flying from Houston to San Antonio, I got the bright idea that maybe I should just fly out from Beaumont. I wondered why I had never done that before...I mean, in the countless plane rides that I've been on, my family has always driven to Houston and flown out from there. But why? I mean, it makes sense to just drive 20 minutes to the airport and then fly from Beaumont to Houston and Houston to San Antonio, as opposed to driving 1 1/2 hours to Houston and then flying to San Antonio. Right? ... Apparently not.
My flight was scheduled for 5:45 am, so I got up around 4:30am, changed into my suit (I planned ahead and showered the night before to save time in the wee hours of the morning), and my mom drove me to the airport. The second we got to the airport, we noticed that the driveway entrance was barricaded except for a small opening that could barely fit a car through it. I had never flown out from the Jefferson Airport before, so I didn't know if this was just the Beaumont way or not. Strike 1.
We pull up to the "terminal", which was really just the only building in sight, and this 70-year-old security guard tells us that the flight was cancelled. I'm thinking, wtf? Cancelled? Apparently there was "bad" weather in Houston (I also hate Houston now), and they cancelled the entire flight. Not delayed...just cancelled. Strike 2.
I go inside the "airport" to talk to the ticket-counter people to see when my flight has been changed to...and they tell me that all of the flights going out of Beaumont today are full. So I'm booked for the 5:45am flight tomorrow morning. Tomorrow? My interview...is today. Yet, the ticket-counter lady has this confused look on her face...and then she tells me that my return flight is still scheduled for this evening. I like how I'm supposed to fly to San Antonio tomorrow morning and fly back to Beaumont...tonight. Strike 3.
Now, it's 6:24am, and I'm sitting back in my house in Beaumont, wondering what I should do. I don't want to drive to Houston ... or San Antonio. I'm also wondering why I'm still awake. And I'm still pissed about my flight. 3 strikes and the Jefferson airport is officially out.
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| So as I contemplated life and love around 1:30am, while chatting on AIM with my friend in the Mill Lab (instead of studying for my cost test, of course), I had an analogic epiphany that accurately describes the predicament that I seem to find myself in. I told my friend I felt as though I were merely "dipping my toe in cold water" in regards to my current romantic situation. And I realized that I was "too scared to jump in" - despite how much I kept telling myself that once I take that first jump into the freezing cold water and the initial numbing shock of the frigid temperature wears away, it becomes a wonderful experience (like jumping into Barton Creek or something). I also figured out that right now, I am opting to "stay on dry land" and play it safe, probably to prevent myself from experiencing any heartache. But isn't it worth the risk? I know I'm scared - I tell myself all the reasons why it wouldn't work out, probably to stop myself from hoping too much that it really will work out. There have been too many times when I've gotten involved with someone, only to find out that they aren't really who I thought they were...that I created this ideal person in my mind and overlooked all of their flaws. And regardless of how many people warned and advised me against dating this person or that person, I continued to dismiss their comments. Every situation has ended up with heartbreak on my side, but what can a girl do? And still, I find myself wobbling back and forth from jumping in or playing it safe....to the point where I don't even know what I want anymore....
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| http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/02/14/love.science/index.html
Leave it to CNN to analyze love. 
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